Oops . . .

I am remiss in not posting this yesterday . . .




Happy Birthday, Unk.

And for an appropriate little Christmas Cheer for all you little Chirpers out there (with thanks to Zippyjake for finding this), a very special edition of Silent Night . . .

One question . . .

As a belated birthday gift, I decided to post a long overdue contortion photo. And as you look at this photo, ask yourself one question. Well, make that two.

1. How did she get into this position, with her legs resting against her shoulders and the tops of her feet on the floor?

And 2. How does she stand up from this position?

Okay, I have a third. Just how bad of a wedgie do you think she had after this photo was taken?

"B" Day

Yes, it's true. My birthday was yesterday, and thanks to family and friends who called up and sang "Happy Birthday" on the phone, sent thoughtful gifts, and mostly made me feel like there are people who love me and take the time to remember me. These are the things that give me that little catch in my throat so that I have to make an extra effort to act like a tough guy.

Seriously, I feel the love and want to tell you how much it means to me.

Now, ever since I got married to a woman who had three children, I made an attempt to make my birthday a family event. See, I came into a fairly well established family situation and wanted to make myself feel part of it. So my birthday celebration always included the sinful pleasure of Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pan Pizza and the family movie of the year. It started out with stuff like Toy Story and The Santa Clause.

Not that the kids were that young, it just felt like a family event and we used appropriate entertainment.

When Titanic came out on December 19th some years ago, we graduated to more mature themes in movies. Over the last few years, Lord Of The Rings made the yearly decision a no-brainer.

I was never really a fan of the original King Kong, but since Peter Jackson directed the just released version, King Kong won out over The Chronicles of Narnia this year. So last night my wife and I took in the blockbuster at the local theatre.

I don't want to ruin this movie for anyone, but let me tell you that it is fairly faithful to the original, as well as I can remember it, but that it adds the depth and pathos that the original lacked, on a human level. And expect to come out of the theatre believing that a gorilla has an actual shot at an acting Oscar.

I've been a special effect junkie since Star Wars, but WETA is really starting to get scary. I saw one mistep in a scene with Jack Black and Adrien Brody running from some large . . . uh . . . dangers, but I defy you to watch this movie and tell me what is real and what is CGI.

Overall, I'd give King Kong three and a half stars filled with surprising performances from lesser known actors, another star quality performance from the faceless, and faced Andy Serkis, and solid if understated performances by Brody and Watts.

As for Jack Black, well . . . you're not going to see him, are you?

"B" Line

Beads, Booze and Bawdy Behaviour.
I think a lot of Fantasy Fest can be summed up with "B" words.

Boys being boisterous.

Babes baring boobs.

Beer bloating bellies

Bangles bedecking bystanders.

Bare bodies bearing blues (and other hues)


Okay, you need more than b's, but there certainly were lots of b's about.

For people who do not know, Fantasy Fest usually occurs at Halloween, and encompasses a number of events, not all of which include the B line , Beads, booze, blah, blah, blah . . .


There are Headdress Balls, Celebrity Look-A-like Contests, A Beach Party with a Homemade Bikini Contest, Body Paint Contests, Epidermal Arts Contests, a Kid's Parade. Tea Dances, Street Fairs, A Toga party and much much more. It is a rollicking, rowdy, raucous event that usually takes 10 days to put on. Many of the events that require entrance fees raise funds for various charities, and they do a bang up job. But this year, thanks to Hurricane Wilma, it was pushed back to December and squeezed into 4 days.

At first glance, it might seem like an immoral event, but after having seen the still lingering effects of Hurricane Wilma on the area, I have come to understand that this is about a lot more than bacchanalian pursuits. Preparing for 4 hurricanes each of the last two years has a cumulative effect. You can see the stress in the locals when they talk about having to stop working to prepare for storms that did not hit, and the one that did, or of the difficulties of doing the normal daily routine. Many businesses are still struggling with cleanup while trying to get open in order to make the money needed to pay for the cleanup. Others are almost incapacitated by the enormity of the devastation. Some people are still without refrigerators a month and a half after the storm. I know one woman who's business was a total loss because it sustained 5 feet of water in an area that had never flooded before to anyone's knowledge. Every tool she had is gone . . destroyed.

Fantasy Fest is a Blow-off steam party, but it also a life line. It is a huge economic engine for the Keys. For people who only visit resort areas around the country, you may not understand how vital such events can be to the people that actually live in these areas. If your season is 5 months long and you lose a month and a half to a hurricane, you are in deep shit.

For Key West to pull together even a watered down version of Fantasy Fest in a little over a month is an extraordinary feat. What my wife and I experienced was estimated at being less than half the normal crowd size, so the economic impact was huge. And I suspect that some businesses may not survive the blow.

To me, "Better to boogie than be buried by bad . . . uh, stuff?"









And yes, that is a candy bead bikini. Guess what the most common comment she got was?

What the f...! Cell Phone Etiquette

I know I am not alone in this . . .

Look, I like the convenience of cell phones, we all do. It's great being able to communicate with others during the dead times we all experience; the times waiting on line at the bank, driving to work, stuck in traffic, or even just looking through movies at the video store. They are a great time saver. They also allow us to get information in a timely manner; "What do you need from the store, I'm there right now. . ." , or "I just stepped out of a meeting, can you get the price of the McGovern job for me?", kind of stuff.

But you know what . . . there is a time and place for discussing the intimate details of your life. Or even the rather mundane events in your life.

I'm pretty sure it's not in the crowded Ft. Lauderdale terminal while chowing down your airport pizza.

I don't have a problem with people making calls from public places. I do have a problem when they talk in such a manner as to intrude on everyone else's peace and quiet. People, if you are going to speak loudly on your cell phone, remove yourself to a less crowded area. I don't personally care about your colonoscopy results, and I certainly don't want to hear you discuss your boss' extramarital affairs with coworkers at 7 AM in the Dunkin' Donuts.

I also don't want to hear about your personal financial affairs while waiting for a plane, which brings me to this most recent event, and a question of etiquette.

We are at the gate in Ft. Lauderdale waiting for the plane back to Philly, and a young guy, business suit, briefcase and a mini pizza sidles up to a desk kind of seat in the corner of the gate. The spot is at the window along a wall so that the effect is that of a small ampitheatre. He is using an ear piece on his cell as he faces directly toward the window, meaning that nothing is blocking his voice, and he speaks in an elevated tone, as if trying to add power to the signal. It seems he has some questions about the disposition of some payment he made and is calling to speak to a contact at the firm he is dealing with. The problem is that the contact is in a meeting.

So he leaves his cell phone number for a callback.

Here's the question.

Is it out of line to crank call this guy from the airport payphone?

Spinners . . .

Wheeew!

After a week of balmy 70-80 degree temperatures, my lovely wife and I are securely on the ground in the wintery northeast. Nothing quite says Christmas in Philly like 22 degree wind blasts through the airport shuttle ways.

Anyway, I've been instructed to tell one story from our stay in Key West, that of Diana's snorkeling adventures. I promised I'd put it on the blog so here goes.

Back some time ago, I took scuba lessons, and really got into the sport. The first time I used scuba in the local college pool, I got the feel of flying in slow motion, and I was hooked. I've since gotten more advanced certifications and even considered teaching, but life happened and I've gotten away from the sport. But a few years ago, while vacationing in the Keys, we introduced Diana to snorkeling.

She loved it. The only drawback was that while snorkeling on Looe Key Reef, the sun disappeared, so she never got the full impact of what reef diving can be. We did paddle around one of the coves but that is nothing compared to the reef. So this trip, our friend Leslie and her sister and brother-in-law, Maryanne and Bob, wanted to give Diana the opportunity to try it again, though this time the location was some coral heads that were much closer to shore.

Typically, the weather did not cooperate, and as we anchored, the sun disappeared. Ever the trouper, Diana donned mask and snorkel and went in anyway. I had to pass, as my back is kinda cranky these days and swimming with flippers tends to tighten me up quite a bit. Bob, hoping to catch a little dinner, grabbed his spear and went in as well.

Even though the sun was hidden, it was a pleasant day, and Les, Maryanne and I chatted as the other two floated about. Then I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye, a large splash off in the distance, maybe 40 feet, maybe 50.

"Oh", I said. "Do you think those could be dolphins.", pointing to the area of the splash where a bronze colored dorsal fin turned quickly though the water in tight circles.

Les turned and gazed out at the activity in the water, which was now joined by another curved dorsal . . . and then another.

"No . . . ." she said, "I don't think they're dolphins . . ." As she spoke, one of the fins rotated into the water, exposing the sleek white underside of what was unmistakably a shark. And a pretty large shark at that.

"Uh . . . they are a ways off, do you think we should call Diana and Bob back in?", I said.

"Well" said Les "I don't think it would be a problem, except that Bob is spearfishing. If he were to hit something and it bled into the water, or didn't die immediately, that could bring them over."

I called to Diana, who poked her head out of the water, and we waved her back toward the boat.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I don't want to tell you, not until you get back in the boat." Les quipped.

Diana swam back, not hurried, but not slowly either. Maryanne called out to Bob, who was probably three times as far away and put her finger tips together and spread her elbows to make a triangle, then pointed in the direction of the splashing sharks. I turned to look at them, then back to the swimmers. Bob had covered the distance to the boat rather quickly and was helping Diana remove her flippers so she could climb the ladder.


Once everyone was back in the boat, we all watched as the sharks closed to within 30 feet of the boat, before drifting back away, probably with the school of fish they were feeding on. I did take some blurry video of the cavorting sharks, but it was too shakey and too far to get any good footage. But I think we have been able to identify them as Spinner Sharks. It is difficult to tell size without a frame of reference, but they were easily the length of a human, and they are known to get up to 9 or 10 feet. I'd estimate that one was full size.

In all the time I scuba'd, I never once saw a shark while in the water. (Half my dives were probably at night over the last few years I dove, so ignorance is bliss.) But for Diana, this was just her third time snorkeling. It's the luck of the . . . er . . . Italians?

But it reminds me what one of my instructors once told me. Every time you put your feet into salt water, statistically you are within 300 feet of a shark. Unless, of course, you are diving a reef, or in Australia.

Then the distance is within 100 feet.

There is much more of our adventures in the Southernmost City, and there may even be nudity. Stay tuned.

I like Pie!!

Okay, a couple talking points here.

First, I like to check out the blogs of the various people who comment on my posts. It seems fair, and is actually quite interesting. While I do not necessarily comment on their posts, rest assured, I've been there, lurking in the dusty corners.

Second, I really don't want to start doing all these, "What kind of a . . . " quizzes that I keep seeing. Okay, that's not true. I like doing them, I just don't want to post about them, as they start to feel like email birthday cards. You know, you want to remember someone, but actually going out and looking for a card and then getting it into the mail proved to be more than you could handle at this particular moment. See, I really enjoy blogging, and I would rather, at this point, put in the effort of coming up with something new than rely on these quizzes to create content.

Ahem . . . that being said . . . Anonymous Shannon , who prefers to remain ANONYMOUS, put up her results of a Pie quiz. Now I am a big pie guy. My mother was a big pie maker. My wife, God bless her floured hands, is a truly wonderful little "Pie Aficionado". And I believe that as you enter the Pearly Gates, there are pie shops lining both sides of Hallelujah Boulevard.

That being said, I took the quiz.

My dear mother would have been able to predict this outcome, though my wife would have been able to offer viable alternatives. Actually, I think the result had a lot to do with whipped cream, but here it is, the desert that, while just 3 years old I refered to as Monkey Pie . . .

You Are Pumpkin Pie

You're the perfect combo of uniqueness and quality Those who like you are looking for something (someone!) special

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Thanks Shannon, and good luck with the ankle.

Oh, and extra points for whoever comes up with the movie from which the title of this post comes.

Spectacular Spectacular

December 7th in the vernacular of my parents was a day that they will always remember where they were when they heard the news that Pearl Harbor was attacked. For me, and possibly many of my generation, it is the day before John Lennon was shot.

But this year, my friends, it is the day my wife and I wing off to sunny Florida, well Key West actually, to attend Fantasy Fest.

Those familiar with this spectacle will say, "Wait, it's too late for Fantasy Fest, that occurs on Halloween Week." Those in the know will simply nod their heads and say, "Ah yes, but not this year, my friend, not this December."

We had our flights to Ft. Lauderdale booked for October 26th. Some may remember that on or about the 23rd of October, the late season arrival of Hurricane Wilma to South Florida scuttled most everything in South Florida. On Wednesday morning the 26th, United Airlines cancelled our flight, and as we pondered what to do with our tickets, word came that Key West had rescheduled the Fest for, yes you guessed it, December 7th through the 10th. Without hesitation, we re-booked for that time.

I've never been to Fantasy Fest. I first heard of it some years ago when Diana and I visited our friend on Ramrod Key in early November. She mentioned to us that we should come down for Fantasy Fest sometime, that it was a wild time.

Needless to say, in the intervening years, Key West has become more of a destination, and the Fest has become more of a spectacle. Personally I probably would prefer the Key West of the 70's and early 80's to today's version, but since I cannot turn back the clock in South Florida any more than I can in South Jersey, I intend to make the best of it. If you check the cams, I will be the attractive middle aged man slurping down a beverage of choice on Duval Street, while snapping digital photos of the . . . uh . . . costumes being paraded about by men and women of all ages and sexual preferences.

I will NOT be the pot bellied middle-aged bald guy sporting the air brushed painting of an African Elephant . . . if you know what I mean.

Not that I COULDN'T be, I just choose not to be.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

aaaaaarrrrrr . . . of course!

I actually had to answer a tie breaker to decide which hero I'd be . . . it came down to Jack Sparrow and Lara Croft. I prefered rum+sun+sea+beach to tight fitting costumes.

And how fitting, because I want to come back in my next life as Johnny Depp and have a clandestine sexual affair with Angelina Jolie.

Which Action Hero Would You Be?
created with QuizFarm.com

No, actually I want to come back as Spiderman, who was the third on the list, but the whole moody, nerdy teenage thing just doesn't work for me

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You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three.