What the f. . . . . Other Drivers! # 1
Okay, you're driving. Its a 4 (or more) lane highway and you are crusin' along when you see someone in your rear view mirror coming up on the outside. Do you . . .
A. Do nothing, allowing the other car to pass normally.
B. Take the opportunity to whip out your cell phone and call out for pizza.
C. Turn on your turn signal and pull into the lane ahead of the passing car, then promptly slow down.
D. Same as above, only without the turn signal.
E. Allow the car to come along side of you, then press down on the accelerator, refusing to allow them to pass.
Alright, I'll admit that I've felt the urge to speed up, I've even found that I subconsciously do it myself. But since I've gotten cruise control on my car, I am amazed at how few people can honestly answer anything but E to that question.
Admittedly, I do a lot of driving, nearly 50,000 miles a year, but I am still astounded by how . . . uh this isn't PC, but . . . RETARDED people get behind the wheel of a car. I mean, Hello . . . you don't think I recognize that I just passed you? And you weren't behind anyone at the time? You were doin' like 10 mph less than you are now? What is this, a freaking RACE. Tag? Dude, you're busted. You are acting like you think you've got a tiny weenie and you can make up for it with your CAR. Which needs to be washed, by the way. Your car that is . . . I'm making no judgements concerning your weenie.
You know, some days are worse than others, but the last two were astounding. My car is in the shop (wait for a What the f . . . Car Dealer Repair Shops post soon) so I've been borrowing a friend’s car. This car is a bit smaller than mine, and it seems that it bugs people even more to get passed by a SMALL car.
I'm relaxed, cruising, quite a bit slower than I usually do in my own car. Maybe 72. I pass a truck, maybe doing 5 mph less than me, and, after a small distance, return to the right lane (just like you are supposed to . . . hello PA drivers). No sooner do I pull over then the guy pulls out and re-passes me, then refuses to return to the right lane. He gets a little ahead of me, then matches my speed (remember, I'm on cruise control.) A couple miles down the road, he finally pulls back infront of me, slows down and forces me to hit MY brakes as he pulls off at an exit. (was he afraid I'd get in front of him on that exit?)
Next car, mid-size, in the right lane. I'm approaching at a speed a bit higher than hers. I pull into the right lane to pass, get just about even with her . . . and she speeds up. No gradual increase of speed, more like a "dump-the-quad, drop-into-passing-gear, you-aint-gonna-git-in-front-o-me-mutha-fuka" mashing of the accelerator into the floorboards kind of thing. She gets a few hundred feet ahead, then returns to her previous speed. This, of course means that for as long as we are on the road together, we will reenact this scene. Five times! With the finale punctuated by a digital display of her IQ. ( Okay, maybe it was my IQ, but whatever . . .)
Oh, now I know about the whole wind resistance thing, that as you are just about to pass another car, the air that they are pushing out of their way is having its greatest affect on you, but come on now. We passers are not stupid. We know you just can't help yourself from squeezing down on the pedal a little. But please, PLEASE, 5 times??? Try and hold yourself back from re-passing us just because we smoked your weenie butt, cuz if ANYTHING makes you look like a potential road rage dispenser, its speeding up by 10 mph just because someone passed you.
Oh, and don't think we don't recognize that you try to close the gap between you and the car in front of you, JUST so we don't have the audacity to merge in front of you. I mean really, how dare we . . .
Dude, we all know, you're not REALLY a weenie . . . its just your car making you act like one. So next time, get an Escalade. That way, we won't be able to see far enough around you to dare and pass you.
A. Do nothing, allowing the other car to pass normally.
B. Take the opportunity to whip out your cell phone and call out for pizza.
C. Turn on your turn signal and pull into the lane ahead of the passing car, then promptly slow down.
D. Same as above, only without the turn signal.
E. Allow the car to come along side of you, then press down on the accelerator, refusing to allow them to pass.
Alright, I'll admit that I've felt the urge to speed up, I've even found that I subconsciously do it myself. But since I've gotten cruise control on my car, I am amazed at how few people can honestly answer anything but E to that question.
Admittedly, I do a lot of driving, nearly 50,000 miles a year, but I am still astounded by how . . . uh this isn't PC, but . . . RETARDED people get behind the wheel of a car. I mean, Hello . . . you don't think I recognize that I just passed you? And you weren't behind anyone at the time? You were doin' like 10 mph less than you are now? What is this, a freaking RACE. Tag? Dude, you're busted. You are acting like you think you've got a tiny weenie and you can make up for it with your CAR. Which needs to be washed, by the way. Your car that is . . . I'm making no judgements concerning your weenie.
You know, some days are worse than others, but the last two were astounding. My car is in the shop (wait for a What the f . . . Car Dealer Repair Shops post soon) so I've been borrowing a friend’s car. This car is a bit smaller than mine, and it seems that it bugs people even more to get passed by a SMALL car.
I'm relaxed, cruising, quite a bit slower than I usually do in my own car. Maybe 72. I pass a truck, maybe doing 5 mph less than me, and, after a small distance, return to the right lane (just like you are supposed to . . . hello PA drivers). No sooner do I pull over then the guy pulls out and re-passes me, then refuses to return to the right lane. He gets a little ahead of me, then matches my speed (remember, I'm on cruise control.) A couple miles down the road, he finally pulls back infront of me, slows down and forces me to hit MY brakes as he pulls off at an exit. (was he afraid I'd get in front of him on that exit?)
Next car, mid-size, in the right lane. I'm approaching at a speed a bit higher than hers. I pull into the right lane to pass, get just about even with her . . . and she speeds up. No gradual increase of speed, more like a "dump-the-quad, drop-into-passing-gear, you-aint-gonna-git-in-front-o-me-mutha-fuka" mashing of the accelerator into the floorboards kind of thing. She gets a few hundred feet ahead, then returns to her previous speed. This, of course means that for as long as we are on the road together, we will reenact this scene. Five times! With the finale punctuated by a digital display of her IQ. ( Okay, maybe it was my IQ, but whatever . . .)
Oh, now I know about the whole wind resistance thing, that as you are just about to pass another car, the air that they are pushing out of their way is having its greatest affect on you, but come on now. We passers are not stupid. We know you just can't help yourself from squeezing down on the pedal a little. But please, PLEASE, 5 times??? Try and hold yourself back from re-passing us just because we smoked your weenie butt, cuz if ANYTHING makes you look like a potential road rage dispenser, its speeding up by 10 mph just because someone passed you.
Oh, and don't think we don't recognize that you try to close the gap between you and the car in front of you, JUST so we don't have the audacity to merge in front of you. I mean really, how dare we . . .
Dude, we all know, you're not REALLY a weenie . . . its just your car making you act like one. So next time, get an Escalade. That way, we won't be able to see far enough around you to dare and pass you.
posted by (jim) Bo Ba Log at 1:01 PM
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